The Trap of Comparison

Whether we admit it or not, we struggle with comparing ourselves to others. We check our 401(k) balance compared to the average, we glance at our neighbor's new car or upgraded kitchen counters. It never stops.

What's ironic is that we normally compare up rather than down.

Social media feeds on this natural tendency. Our friends and family post wonderful pictures on vacation, and everyone is smiling and happy as the sun sets on the beach. We don't see the five minutes before and the five minutes after that picture. Perhaps it is wonderful. But often the picture masks the issues that we all face to some degree.

Allowing ourselves to be lulled into admiration for the outward success of others is a trap. It can lead to financially overextending ourselves, or even to debt. And sadly it is often not the full picture.

We know that many signs of outward success can mask financial strain. Yet we still struggle with what our eyes see versus what we suspect in our minds.

It's good to remember a few things:

1. Many very successful people feel no need to show their wealth externally. The man sitting next to you at the stop light in a 20-year old car with a few door dings may actually be a millionaire.

2. Not everyone starts at the same place. Some have had an easier path to wealth, and some have overcome incredible adversity.

3. Everyone has different goals and different views on how much to save, when to splurge, what is a normal amount of consumption, etc. We can't judge others by our standards.

4. In the end we are responsible only for our own finances. Does your debt keep you up at night? When the market drops 10% of 20% or more, do you fret? Are your basic needs being met but not much more? Everyone has to take care of the budget in a personal way.

To be honest we will all struggle from time to time, even though we know outward signs of wealth can be an illusion. We just have to keep reminding ourselves that all is not what it seems.




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