Your money is a very personal topic, and nothing is more personal than the family. These are the people who know us the best, strengths and weaknesses. And our money is a very emotional topic also. It's a key driver for stress or success in our families. What one person does intimately affects the others, for good or bad.
For some of us, money was not talked about openly when we were growing up. There are a variety of reasons for this, some of which may be valid. Children may not need to know everything. But they do pick up on clues about things which are a concern to their parents, and money is probably at the top of that list.
So given that our upbringing may have taught us that money is not something to be discussed openly, it's hard to build transparency as adults. This is especially true if there is disagreement on saving, spending, investing, etc. No two people see eye to eye, and so there has to be a frank and productive discussion about money in the family.
When one person hides debts or purchases, or even conceals savings from the other person, it's hard to build trust.
So what are some solutions? This is a very personal topic, and each family is different, but here is what we suggest:
1. Joint bank account. There are many theories on the advantages of separate bank accounts, but bringing everything into the light for open discussion is painful but helpful. If you haven't done this, please note that there may need to be some healing as you work through different spending habits.
2. Joint financial statements. This means a family budget discussed monthly or quarterly which includes everything: all saving, all spending, all investments.
3. Work through your differences on priorities and come to a compromise. Like a lot of things in life, there is not one way to do something. There is not a simple formula for how much to save, spend, or how to invest. There are guidelines, but how to work that out in the family is a very personal decision.
4. Resolve to work through conflicts in a positive manner. There may be tension and misunderstandings as you bring money issues into the open, but it's healthy. Set up rules for when and how you will talk about money, and how much you will share with any children in the home.
This is a really hard topic, but if you and your spouse can move through these issues, you'll come out on the other side stronger. It may take some time, and there may need to be some outside help, such as marriage or family counselors. It's worth it, but it won't be easy.
Copyright 2023 Personal Finance Reports. All Rights Reserved. No part of this content may be reproduced or used in any manner without prior written permission.
Disclaimer: The views expressed on this website reflect the personal opinions and experiences of the writer. Nothing in this article constitutes financial advice in any way. Information on this website should not be relied upon for investment or business advice. Please consult with a qualified financial professional before making any financial decisions. 3800283